A Woman Evolving

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-05T19:39:00.001-05:00

Day 1 ~ Wisdom ~~ Psalms 144

2011-09-07T20:10:00.000-05:00

Psalm 144

David blesses God for His mercy, both to him and to mankind

A Psalm of David.

1 Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight: 2 My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me. 3 Lord, what is man, that thou takest knowledge of him! or the son of man, that thou makest account of him! 4 Man is like to vanity: his days are as a shadow that passeth away. 5 Bow thy heavens, O Lord, and come down: touch the mountains, and they shall smoke. 6 Cast forth lightning, and scatter them: shoot out thine arrows, and destroy them. 7 Send thine hand from above; rid me, and deliver me out of great waters, from the hand of strange children; 8 Whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood.

He promises to praise God

9 I will sing a new song unto thee, O God: upon a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises unto thee. 10 It is he that giveth salvation unto kings: who delivereth David his servant from the hurtful sword. 11 Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood: 12 That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: 13 That our garners may be full, affording all manner of store: that our sheep may bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our streets: 14 That our oxen may be strong to labour; that there be no breaking in, nor going out; that there be no complaining in our streets. 15 Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord.

Psalms 144:1-15 (KJV)

—Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary

Chapter 144

DAVID ACKNOWLEDGES THE GREAT GOODNESS OF GOD, AND PRAYS FOR HELP. (144:1-8)

When men become eminent for things as to which they have had few advantages, they should be more deeply sensible that God has been their Teacher. Happy those to whom the Lord gives that noblest victory, conquest and dominion over their own spirits. A prayer for further mercy is fitly begun with a thanksgiving for former mercy. There was a special power of God, inclining the people of Israel to be subject to David; it was typical of the bringing souls into subjection to the Lord Jesus. Man's days have little substance, considering how many thoughts and cares of a never-dying soul are employed about a poor dying body. Man's life is as a shadow that passes away. In their highest earthly exaltation, believers will recollect how mean, sinful, and vile they are in themselves; thus they will be preserved from self-importance and presumption. God's time to help his people is, when they are sinking, and all other helps fail.

HE PRAYS FOR THE PROSPERITY OF HIS KINGDOM. (144:9-15)

Fresh favours call for fresh returns of thanks; we must praise God for the mercies we hope for by his promise, as well as those we have received by his providence. To be saved from the hurtful sword, or from wasting sickness, without deliverance from the dominion of sin and the wrath to come, is but a small advantage. The public prosperity David desired for his people, is stated. It adds much to the comfort and happiness of parents in this world, to see their children likely to do well. To see them as plants, not as weeds, not as thorns; to see them as plants growing, not withered and blasted; to see them likely to bring forth fruit unto God in their day; to see them in their youth growing strong in the Spirit. Plenty is to be desired, that we may be thankful to God, generous to our friends, and charitable to the poor; otherwise, what profit is it to have our garners full? Also, uninterrupted peace. War brings abundance of mischiefs, whether it be to attack others or to defend ourselves. And in proportion as we do not adhere to the worship and service of God, we cease to be a happy people. The subjects of the Saviour, the Son of David, share the blessings of his authority and victories, and are happy because they have the Lord for their God.
—Matthew Henry Concise

Psalm 144

Albeit that this Psalm is in some measure very similar to Psalms 18:1-50, yet it is a new song, and in its latter portion it is strikingly so. Let the reader accept it as a new psalm, and not as a mere variation of an old one, or as two compositions roughly joined together. It is true that it would be a complete composition if the passage from Psalms 144:12-15 were dropped; but there are other parts, of David's poems which might be equally self contained if certain verses were omitted; and the same might be said of many uninspired sonnets. It does not, therefore, follow that the latter part was added by another hand, nor even that the latter part was a fragment by the same author, appended to the first song merely with the view of preserving it. It seems to us to be highly probable that the Psalmist, remembering that he had trodden some of the same ground before, felt his mind moved to fresh thought, and that the Holy Spirit used this mood for his own high purposes. Assuredly the addendum is worthy of the greatest Hebrew poet, and it is so admirable in language, and so full of beautiful imagery, that persons of taste who were by no means overloaded with reverence have quoted it times without number, thus confessing its singular poetical excellence. To us the whole psalm appears to be perfect as it stands, and to exhibit such unity throughout that it would be a literary Vandalism, as well as a spiritual crime, to rend away one part from the other.

Title. Its title is "Of David", and its language is of David, if ever language can belong to any man. As surely as we could say of any poem, this is of Tennyson, or of Longfellow, we may say, This is of David. Nothing but the disease which closes the eye to manifest fact and opens it to fancy, could have led learned critics to ascribe this song to anybody but David. Alexander well says, "The Davidic origin of this psalm is as marked as that of any in the Psalter."

It is to God the devout warrior sings when he extols him as his strength and stay (Psalms 144:1-2). Man he holds in small account, and wonders at the Lord's regard for him (Psalms 144:3-4); but he turns in his hour of conflict to the Lord, who is declared to be "a man of war", whose triumphant interposition he implores (Psalms 144:5-8). He again extols and entreats in Psalms 144:9-11 and then closes with a delightful picture of the Lord's work for his chosen people, who are congratulated upon having such a God to be their God.

—Treasury of David, The

Psalm 144:15

Exposition

Happy is that people that is in such a case. Such things are not to be overlooked. Temporal blessings are not trifles, for the miss of them would be a dire calamity. It is a great happiness to belong to a people so highly favoured.

Yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord. This comes in as an explanation of their prosperity. Under the Old Testament Israel had present earthly rewards for obedience: when Jehovah was their God they were a nation enriched and flourishing. This sentence is also a sort of correction of all that had gone before; as if the poet would say—all these temporal gifts are a part of happiness, but still the heart and soul of happiness lies in the people being right with God, and having a full possession of him. Those who worship the happy God become a happy people. Then if we have not temporal mercies literally we have something better: if we have not the silver of earth we have the gold of heaven, which is better still.

In this psalm David ascribes his own power over the people, and the prosperity which attended his reign, to the Lord himself. Happy was the nation which he ruled; happy in its king, in its families, in its prosperity, and in the possession of peace; but yet more in enjoying true religion and worshipping Jehovah, the only living and true God.

Explanatory Notes and Quaint Sayings

Happy is that people, etc. We have in the text happiness with an echo, or ingemination; "happy" and "happy." From this ingemination arise the parts of the text; the same which are the parts both of the greater world and the less. As the heaven and earth in the one, and the body and soul in the other; so are the passages of this Scripture in the two veins of happiness. We may range them as Isaac does the two parts of his blessing (Genesis 27:28); the vein of civil happiness, in "the fatness of the earth"; and the vein of Divine happiness, in "the fatness of heaven." Or (if you will have it out of the gospel), here's Martha's portion in the "many things" of the body; and Mary's better part in the unum necessarium of the soul. To give it yet more concisely, here's the path of prosperity in outward comforts, "Happy is that people that is in such a case"; and the path of piety in comforts spiritual: Yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord.

In the handling of the first, without any further subdivision, I will only show what it is the Psalmist treats of; and that shall be by way of gradation, in these three particulars. It is De Felicitate; De Felicitate Populi; De Hac Felicitate Populi: of happiness; of the people's happiness; of the people's happiness, as in such a case.

Happiness is the general, and the first: a noble argument, and worthy of an inspired pen, especially the Psalmist's. Of all other there can be none better to speak of popular happiness than such a king; nor of celestial, than such a prophet. Yet I mean not to discourse of it in the full latitude, but only as it hath a peculiar posture in this psalm, very various and different from the order of other psalms. In this psalm it is reserved to the end, as the close of the foregoing meditations. In other psalms it is set in the front, or first place of all; as in Psalms 32:1-11, in Psalms 112:1-10, in Psalms 119:1-176, and in the Psalms 128:1-6. Again, in this the Psalmist ends with our happiness and begins with God's. "Blessed be the Lord my strength." In Psalms 41:1-13, contrary, he makes his exordium from man's; "Blessed is he that considereth the poor"; his conclusion with God's; "Blessed be the Lend God of Israel." I therefore observe these variations, because they are helpful to the understanding both of the essence and splendour of true happiness. To the knowledge of the essence they help, because they demonstrate how our own happiness is enfolded in the glory of God, and subordinate unto it. As we cannot begin with beatus unless we end with benedictus: so we must begin with benedictus that we may end with beatus. The reason is this,—because the glory of God is as well the consummation as the introduction to a Christian's happiness. Therefore as in the other psalm he begins below and ends upwards; so in this, having begun from above with that which is principal, "Blessed be the Lord"; he fixes his second thoughts upon the subordinate, "Blessed, or happy, are the people." He could not proceed in a better order: he first looks up to God's kingdom, then reflects upon his own, as not meaning to take blessedness before he had given it.—Richard Holdsworth.

Happy is that people, that is in such a case, etc. The first part of this text hath relation to temporal blessings, "Blessed is the people that be so": the second to spiritual, "Yea, blessed is the people while God is the Lord." "His left hand is under my head", saith the spouse (Song of Songs 2:6); that sustains me from falling into murmuring, or diffidence of his providence, because out of his left hand he hath given me a competency of his temporal blessings; "But his right hand doth embrace me", saith the spouse there; his spiritual blessings fill me, possess me so that no rebellious fire breaks out within me, no outward temptation breaks in upon me. So also Solomon says again, "In her left hand is riches and glory" (temporal blessings) "and in her right hand length of days" (Proverbs 3:16), all that accomplishes and fulfils the eternal joys of the saints of heaven. The person to whom Solomon attributes this right and left hand is Wisdom; and a wise man may reach out his right and left hand, to receive the blessings of both sorts. And the person whom Solomon represents by Wisdom there, is Christ himself. So that not only a worldly wise man, but a Christian wise man may reach out both hands, to both kinds of blessings, right and left, spiritual and temporal.

Now, for this first blessedness, as no philosophers could ever tell us amongst the Gentiles what true blessedness was, so no grammarian amongst the Jews, amongst the Hebrews, could ever tell us what the right signification of this word is, in which David expresses blessedness here; whether asherei, which is the word, be a plural noun, and signify beatitudines, blessednesses in the plural, and intimate thus much, that blessedness consists not in any one thing, but in a harmony and consent of many; or whether this asherei be an adverb, and signify beate, and so be an acclamation, O how happily, how blessedly are such men provided for that are so; they cannot tell. Whatsoever it be, it is the very first word with which David begins his Book of Psalms; beatus vir; as the last word of that book is, laudate Dominum; to show that all that passes between God and man, from first to last, is blessings from God to man, and praises from man to God; and that the first degree of blessedness is to find the print of the hand of God even in his temporal blessednesses, and to praise and glorify him for them in the right use of them. A man that hath no land to hold by it, nor title to recover by it, is never the better for finding, or buying, or having a fair piece of evidence, a fair instrument, fairly written, duly sealed, authentically testified; a man that hath not the grace of God, and spiritual blessings too, is never the nearer happiness, for all his abundances of temporal blessedness. Evidences are evidences to them who have title. Temporal blessings are evidences to them who have a testimony of God's spiritual blessings in the temporal. Otherwise, as in his hands who hath no title, it is a suspicious thing to find evidences, and he will be thought to have embezzled and purloined them, he will be thought to have forged and counterfeited them, and he will be called to an account for them, how he came by them, and what he meant to do with them: so to them who have temporal blessings without spiritual, they are but useless blessings, they are but counterfeit blessings, they shall not purchase a minute's peace here, nor a minute's refreshing to the soul hereafter; and there must be a heavy account made for them, both how they were got, and how they were employed.—John Donne.

Happy is that people, etc. It is only a narrow and one sided religion that can see anything out of place in this beatitude of plenty and peace. If we could rejoice with the psalms fully and without misgiving, in the temporal blessings bestowed by heaven, we should the more readily and sincerely enter into the depths of their spiritual experience. And the secret of this lies in the full comprehension and contemplation of the beautiful and pleasant as the gift of God.—A.S. Aglen.

Yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord. "Yea, happy." This is the best wine, kept to the last, though all men be not of this opinion. You shall hardly bring a worldly man to think so. The world is willing enough to misconstrue the order of the words, and to give the priority to civil happiness, as if it were first in dignity, because 'tis first named: they like better to hear of the cui sic than the cui Dominus. To prevent this folly, the Psalmist interposes a caution in this corrective particle, "yea, happy." It hath the force of a revocation, whereby he seems to retract what went before, not simply and absolutely, but in a certain degree, lest worldly men should wrest it to a misinterpretation. It is not an absolute revocation, but a comparative; it doth not simply deny that there is some part of popular happiness in these outward things, but it prefers the spirituals before them: "Yea", that is, Yea more, or, Yea rather; like that of Christ in the Gospel, when one in the company blessed the womb that bare him, he presently replies, "Yea, rather blessed are they that hear the word of God and keep it": Luke 11:28. In like manner, the prophet David, having first premised the inferior part and outside of a happy condition; fearing lest any should of purpose mistake his meaning, and, hearing the first proposition, should either there set up their rest, and not at all take up the second; or if they take it in, do it preposterously, and give it the precedence before the second, according to the world's order, Virtus post nummos. In this respect he puts in the clause of revocation, whereby he shows that these outward things, though named first, yet they are not to be reputed first. The particle "Yea" removes them to the second place; it tacitly transposes the order; and the path of piety, which was locally after, it places virtually before. 'Tis as if he had said, Did I call them happy who are in such a case? Nay, miserable are they if they be only in such a case: the temporal part cannot make them so without the spiritual. Admit the windows of the visible heaven were opened, and all outward blessings poured down upon us; admit we did perfectly enjoy whatsoever the vastness of the earth contains in it; tell me, What will it profit to gain all and lose God? If the earth be bestowed upon us, and not heaven; or the material heaven be opened, and not the beatifical; or the whole world made ours, and God not ours; we do not arrive at happiness. All that is in the first proposition is nothing unless this be added, "Yea, happy are the people which have the Lord for their God."—Richard Holdsworth.

Thrice happy nations, where with look benign

Thine aspect bends; beneath thy smile divine

The fields are with increasing harvests crown'd,

The flocks grow fast, and plenty reigns around,

Nor sire, nor infant son, black death shall crave,

Till ripe with age they drop into the grave;

Nor fell suspicion, nor relentless care,

Nor peace destroying discord enter there,

But friends and brothers, wives and sisters, join

The feast in concord and in love divine.—Callimachus.

David having prayed for many temporal blessings in the behalf of the people from Psalms 144:12-15, at last concludes, Blessed are the people that are in such a case; but presently he checks and corrects himself, and eats, as it were, his own words, but rather, happy is that people whose God is the Lord. The Syriac rendereth it question wise, "Is not the people (happy) that is in such a case?" The answer is, "No", except they have God to boot: Psalms 146:5. Nothing can make that man truly miserable that hath God for his portion, and nothing can make that man truly happy that wants God for his portion. God is the author of all true happiness; he is the donor of all true happiness; he is the maintainer of all true happiness, and he is the centre of all true happiness; and, therefore, he that hath him for his God, and for his portion, is the only happy man in the world.—Thomas Brooks.

Whose God is Jehovah. A word or name well known to us English, by our translators now often retaining that name in the mention of God in our English Bible, and therefore we shall do well to retain it. Lord was a lower word, in common acceptation, than God. But Jehovah is a higher name than either, and more peculiar, incommunicable, and comprehensive. Exodus 6:3: "I appeared" (saith the Lord) "unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, by the name God Almighty, but by my name Jehovah was I not known to them."

To have God to be our Jehovah is the insurance of happiness to us. For of many, observe but these two things in the name Jehovah: First, God's absolute independency—that he is of himself omnipotent, Exodus 3:14: "And God said, I Am That I Am." Secondly, God's faithfulness, that he cannot but be as good as his word, Exodus 6:2-4, 6: "And I have also established my covenant with them; wherefore say unto the children of Israel, I am Jehovah (so in the Hebrew), and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians." So that this name is our security of God's performance. Examine we therefore our bonds, and bills, that is, his promises to us; behold, they are all the promises of Jehovah; they must stand good, for they bear his name; they must reflect his name, and promote both our good and God's grand design.—Nathanael Homes, 1678.

With this prayer of Jehovah's anointed One end the prayers of the Book of Psalms. The remaining six psalms consist exclusively of praise and high Hallelujahs.—Lord Congleton, in "The Psalms: a new Version, with Notes", 1875.

Hints to the Village Preacher

The peculiar happiness of those whose God is the Lord.

—Treasury of David, The

Day 1 ~ Wisdom ~~ Psalms 143

2011-09-07T19:59:00.000-05:00

Psalm 143

David prays for favor in judgment

A Psalm of David.

1 Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness. 2 And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified. 3 For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead. 4 Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate. 5 I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands. 6 I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.

He prays for grace

7 Hear me speedily, O Lord: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit. 8 Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee. 9 Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me. 10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. 11 Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name's sake: for thy righteousness' sake bring my soul out of trouble. 12 And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.

Psalms 143:1-12 (KJV)

—Matthew Henry Concise

DAVID COMPLAINS OF HIS ENEMIES AND DISTRESSES. (143:1-6)

We have no righteousness of our own to plead, therefore must plead God's righteousness, and the word of promise which he has freely given us, and caused us to hope in. David, before he prays for the removal of his trouble, prays for the pardon of his sin, and depends upon mercy alone for it. He bemoans the weight upon his mind from outward troubles. But he looks back, and remembers God's former appearance for his afflicted people, and for him in particular. He looks round, and notices the works of God. The more we consider the power of God, the less we shall fear the face or force of man. He looks up with earnest desires towards God and his favour. This is the best course we can take, when our spirits are overwhelmed. The believer will not forget, that in his best actions he is a sinner. Meditation and prayer will recover us from distresses; and then the mourning soul strives to return to the Lord as the infant stretches out its hands to the indulgent mother, and thirsts for his consolations as the parched ground for refreshing rain.

HE PRAYS FOR COMFORT, GUIDANCE, AND DELIVERANCE. (143:7-12)

David prays that God would be well pleased with him, and let him know that he was so. He pleads the wretchedness of his case, if God withdrew from him. But the night of distress and discouragement shall end in a morning of consolation and praise. He prays that he might be enlightened with the knowledge of God's will; and this is the first work of the Spirit. A good man does not ask the way in which is the most pleasant walking, but what is the right way. Not only show me what thy will is, but teach me how to do it. Those who have the Lord for their God, have his Spirit for their Guide; they are led by the Spirit. He prays that he might be enlivened to do God's will. But we should especially seek the destruction of our sins, our worst enemies, that we may be devotedly God's servants.
—Matthew Henry Concise

—Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary

Psalm 143

Ps 143:1-12. In structure and style, like the preceding (Psalms 104-142), this Psalm is clearly evinced to be David's. It is a prayer for pardon, and for relief from enemies; afflictions, as usual, producing confession and penitence.

Notes for Verse 1

Verse 1. in thy faithfulness . . . and . . . righteousness -- or, God's regard to the claims which He has permitted His people to make in His covenant.

Notes for Verse 2

Verse 2. enter . . . judgment -- deal not in strict justice.

shall no . . . justified -- or, "is no man justified," or "innocent" (Job 14:3 Ro 3:20).

Notes for Verses 3,4

Verses 3,4. The exciting reason for his prayer -- his afflictions -- led to confession as just made: he now makes the complaint.

as those that have been long dead -- deprived of life's comforts (compare Ps 40:15 Ps 88:3-6).

Notes for Verses 5,6

Verses 5,6. The distress is aggravated by the contrast of former comfort (Ps 22:3-5), for whose return he longs.

a thirsty land -- which needs rain, as did his spirit God's gracious visits (Ps 28:1 Ps 89:17).

Notes for Verse 7

Verse 7. spirit faileth -- is exhausted.

Notes for Verse 8

Verse 8. (Compare Ps 25:1-4 Ps 59:16).

the way . . . walk -- that is, the way of safety and righteousness (Ps 142:3-6).

Notes for Verse 9

Verse 9. (Compare Ps 31:15-20).

Notes for Verse 10

Verse 10. (Compare Ps 5:8 Ps 27:11).

land of uprightness -- literally, "an even land" (Ps 26:12).

Notes for Verse 11

Verse 11. (Compare Ps 23:3 Ps 119:156).

Notes for Verse 12

Verse 12. God's mercy to His people is often wrath to His and their enemies (compare Ps 31:17).

thy servant -- as chosen to be such, entitled to divine regard.

—Treasury of David, The

Psalm 143

Title. A Psalm of David. It is so much like other Davidic psalms that we accept the title without a moment's hesitation. David's history illustrates it, and his spirit breathes in it. Why it has been set down as one of the seven Penitential Psalms we can hardly tell; for it is rather a vindication of his own integrity, and an indignant prayer against his slanderers, than a confession of fault. It is true the second verse proves that he never dreamed of justifying himself before the Lord; but even in it there is scarcely the brokenness of penitence. It seems to us rather martial than penitential, rather a supplication for deliverance from trouble than a weeping acknowledgment of transgression. We suppose that seven penitentials were needed by ecclesiastical rabbis, and therefore this was impressed into the service. In truth, it is a mingled strain, a box of ointment composed of divers ingredients, sweet and bitter, pungent and precious. It is the outcry of an overwhelmed spirit, unable to abide in the highest state of spiritual prayer, again and again descending to bewail its deep temporal distress; yet evermore struggling to rise to the best things. The singer moans at intervals; the petitioner for mercy cannot withhold his cries for vindication. His hands are outstretched to heaven, but at his girdle hangs a sharp sword, which rattles in its scabbard as he closes his psalm.

Division. This psalm is divided by the Selah. We prefer to follow the natural cleavage, and therefore have made no other dissection of it. May the Holy Spirit lead us into its inner meaning.

Psalm 143:1

Exposition

Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications. In the preceding psalm he began by declaring that he had cried unto the Lord; here he begs to be favourably regarded by Jehovah the living God, whose memorial is that he heareth prayer. He knew that Jehovah did hear prayer, and therefore he entreated him to hear his supplication, however feeble and broken it might be. In two forms he implores the one blessing of gracious audience:—"hear" and "give ear." Gracious men are so eager to be heard in prayer that they double their entreaties for that boon. The Psalmist desires to be heard and to be considered; hence he cries, "hear", and then "give ear." Our case is difficult, and we plead for special attention. Here it is probable that David wished his suit against his adversaries to be heard by the righteous Judge; confident that if he had a hearing in the matter whereof he was slanderously accused, he would be triumphantly acquitted. Yet while somewhat inclined thus to lay his case before the Court of King's Bench, he prefers rather to turn it all into a petition, and present it before the Court of Requests, hence he cries rather "hear my prayer" than "hear my suit." Indeed David is specially earnest that he himself, and the whole of his life, may not become the subject of trial, for in that event he could not hope for acquittal. Observe that he offered so much pleading that his life became one continual prayer; but that petitioning was so varied in form that it broke out in many supplications.

In thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness. Saints desire to be answered as well as heard: they long to find the Lord faithful to his promise and righteous in defending the cause of justice. It is a happy thing when we dare appeal even to righteousness for our deliverance; and this we can do upon gospel principles, for "if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins." Even the sterner attributes of God are upon the side of the man who humbly trusts, and turns his trust into prayer. It is a sign of our safety when our interests and those of righteousness are blended. With God's faithfulness and righteousness upon our side we are guarded on the right hand and on the left. These are active attributes, and fully equal to the answering of any prayer which it would be light to answer. Requests which do not appeal to either of these attributes it would not be for the glory of God to hear, for they must contain desires for things not promised, and unrighteous.

Explanatory Notes and Quaint Sayings

Whole Psalm. This psalm of David most aptly answereth to that psalm which precedes it; for in Psalms 142:1-7 he showeth that he prayed, repeating it twice (Psalms 143:1); and here he twice saith, "Hear my prayer, give ear to my supplication." In Psalms 142:3 he saith, "When my spirit was overwhelmed within me"; here (Psalms 143:4), "My spirit is overwhelmed within me."—John Mayer.

Whole Psalm. The promise referred to throughout this octave of Psalms 138-145. is that recorded in 2 Samuel 7:12, etc., "When thy days be fulfilled...I will set up thy seed after thee...and I will establish his kingdom...If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him ...But my mercy shall not depart away from him; and thine house and thy kingdom shall be established for ever." What fixes the connection of the psalm with the history is the frequent application of the term "Thy (Jehovah's) servant", by David to himself in the latter, as in Psalms 143:2 144:12 of the former. Jehovah had first used it of David, "Tell to my servant, to David"; David therefore fastens on it as his plea again and again (2 Samuel 7:5, 9-21, 25-29). David's plea, "For I am thy servant", is no boast of his service, but a magnifying of God's electing grace: "Who am I, O Lord God? and what is my house, that thou hast brought me hitherto?" 2 Samuel 7:18.

The cry (Psalms 143:6) "My soul thirsteth after thee as a thirsty land", answers to David's own words in Psalms 63:1, when he was fleeing from Absalom, and still in the wilderness of Judah (title, Ps. 63.) on the near side of Jordan: "My soul thirsteth for thee." The history here again is an undesigned agreement with the psalm (2 Samuel 16:2, 14): "The King, and all the people with him, came weary, and refreshed themselves" with Ziba's fruits; also 2 Samuel 17:2. The Hebrew for "thirsty" in Psalm 143 is the same as for "weary" in Psalms 63:1, and in 2 Samuel 16:14, and means "panting", "weary", "thirsting."—Andrew Robert Fausset, in "Studies in the 150. Psalms", 1876.

Whole Psalm. At the making of this psalm (as it plainly appeareth) David was cast into some desperate danger; whether by Saul when he was forced to flee into the cave, as in the former psalm, or by Absalom his son, or by any other, it is uncertain. Howsoever, in this he complains grievously to God of the malice of his enemies, and desireth God to hear his prayers, he acknowledgeth that he suffereth those things by God's just judgment, most humbly craving mercy for his sins; desiring not only to be restored, but also to be governed by God's Spirit, that he may dedicate and consecrate the rest of his life to God's service. This worthy psalm, then, containeth these three things. First, a confession of his sins. Secondly, a lamentation over his injuries. Thirdly, a supplication for temporal deliverance and spiritual graces.—Archibald Symson.

Whole Psalm. It is not without some use to observe in this psalm how the, heart of its devout composer turned alternately from spiritual to temporal, and again from temporal to spiritual subjects. He first complains of his sins, and begs for mercy; then of his enemies, and prays for deliverance. Then he laments his darkness, and pleads for the light of God's countenance, and for wisdom, and understanding. After this, the thought of his enemies rushes in again upon his soul, and he flees to God for protection. Lastly, he again puts up his prayer for wisdom and holiness: "Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness." This is a peculiarly important petition: before he had prayed to know the way in which he should walk, he now prays that he may walk in it.—John Fawcett, 1769-1851.

Whole Psalm. This is appointed by the Church for Ash Wednesday, and is the seventh and last of the Penitential Psalms. These seven Penitential Psalms also sometimes called "the Special Psalms", and have long been used in Church as the completest and most spiritual acts of repentance which she possesses. They have sometimes been considered as directed against the seven deadly sins; as, for instance, Psalms 6:1-10, against Wrath; Psalms 32:1-11, against Pride Psalms 38:1-22, against Gluttony; Psalms 51:1-19, against Impurity; Psalms 102:1-28, against Covetousness; Psalms 130:1-8, against Envy; and the present Psalm against Indifference, Carelessness.—J. W. Burgon.

Hear my prayer, O Lord, etc. Alas, O Lord, if thou hear not prayer, I were as good not pray at all; and if thou hear it, and give not car it, it were as good thou didst not hear it at all. O, therefore, "hear my O God, and give ear to my supplications"; that neither my praying may be lost, want of thy hearing it, nor thy hearing it be lost for want of thy attending it. When I only make a prayer to God, it seems enough that he hear it; but make a supplication, it requires that he give ear unto it: for seeing a supplication hath a greater intention in the setting out, it cannot without a greater, attention be entertained.

But what niceness of words is this? as though it were not all one "to hear" and "to give ear"? or as though there were any difference between a prayer a supplication? Is it not perhaps so indeed? for hearing sometimes may be passive, where giving ear is always active; and seeing Christ, we doubt not, heard the woman of Canaan's first cry, while it was a prayer; but gave no ear till her second cry, when it was grown to a supplication. However it be, as hearing, O God, without giving ear would be to no purpose, so thy giving without giving answer would do me no good; O, therefore, "answer me," God: for if thou answer not my prayer, how canst thou answer my expectations. My prayer is but the seed; it is thy answer that makes the harvest. If thou shouldest not answer me at all, I could not hope for any harvest at all; thou shouldest answer me, and not "in thy righteousness", that would be a indeed, but nothing but of blasted corn. Therefore, answer me, O God, but" thy righteousness"; for thy righteousness never made an unpleasing answer was an answer in thy righteousness which thou madest to Noah: "My shall not always strive with man; for the imagination of man's heart is evil his infancy." It was an answer in thy righteousness which thou madest to Abraham: "Fear not; I will be thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward." It was an answer in thy righteousness which thou madest to the thief upon the cross: "This day thou shalt be with me in paradise." Oh, then, answer me in thy righteousness, O God, and then the harvest of my hope will be as the seven years of plenty foretold by Joseph.—Sir Richard Baker.

Hear my prayer. ...give ear to my supplications... answer me. He doth here three times repeat his camest desire to be heard, as in fifth psalm four times he doubles and ingeminateth this same suit to be heard. ... When he doubles his request of hearing, he would have God hear with both his ears, that is, most attentively and readily: so instant is a mind that he desireth the prayer he putteth up to be remembered, as was said the angel to the centurion: "Thy prayer and almsdeeds are come up God": Acts 10:4.—Archibald Symson.

In thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness. It was thy righteousness that thou didst make the promise, but it is thy faithfulness that thou wilt keep thy promise: and seeing I am certain of thy making it, how can I be doubtful of thy keeping it? If thou shouldest not answer me in thy righteousness, yet thou shouldest be righteous still; but if thou shouldest not answer me in thy faithfulness, thou shouldest not be faithful still.—Sir Richard Baker.

Answer me in thy righteousness. Forgiveness is not inconsistent with truth or righteousness, and the pardon which in mercy God bestows upon the sinner is bestowed in justice to the well beloved Son who accepted and discharged the sinner's obligations. This is an infinitely precious truth, and the hearts of thousands in every age have been sustained and gladdened by it. A good old Christian woman in humble life so fully realized this, that when a revered servant of God asked her, as she lay on her dying pillow, the ground of her hope for eternity, she replied, with great composure, "I rely on the justice of God"; adding, however, when the reply excited surprise, "justice, not to me, but to my Substitute, in whom I trust."—Robert Macdonald, in "From Day to Day; or, Helpful Words for Christian Life", 1879.

Hints to the Village Preacher

Three threes.

As to his devotions,—prayers, supplications, requests.
As to his success,—hear, give ear, answer me.
As to his argument,—because thou art Jehovah, faithful, righteous.

Ver. 1-2. A suitable prayer for a believer who has reason to suppose that he is suffering chastening for sin.

Here is earnest importunity, as of one depending entirely upon divine favour for a hearing.
Here is believing fervency laying hold of divine faithfulness and justice; see 1 John 1:9.
Here is a deep consciousness of the vanity of self justification pleading for pure mercy, Psalms 143:2.—J. F.

Psalm 143:12

Exposition

And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul. He believes that it will be so, and thus prophesies the event; for the words may be read as a declaration, and it is better so to understand them. We could not pray just so with our Christian light; but under Old Testament arrangements the spirit of it was congruous to the law. It is a petition which justice sanctions, but the spirit of love is not at home in presenting it. We, as Christians, turn the petition to spiritual use only. Yet David was of so generous a mind, and dealt so tenderly with Saul, that he could hardly have meant all that his words are made in our version to say. For I am lay servant; and therefore I hope that my Master will protect me in his service, and grant me victory while I fight his battles. It is a warrior's prayer, and smells of the dust and smoke of battle. It was heard, and therefore it was not asking amiss. Still there is a more excellent way.

Explanatory Notes and Quaint Sayings

Of thy mercy cut off mine enemies. He desireth God to slay his enemies in his mercy, when rather their destruction was a work of his justice? I answer, that the destruction of the wicked is a mercy to the church. As God showed great mercy and kindness to his church by the death of Pharaoh, Sennacherib, Herod, and other troublers thereof.—Archibald Symson.

Cut off mine enemies, etc. When you find these imprecations to be prophecies of events which the Psalmist himself could not understand; but were to be fulfilled in persons whom the Psalmist could not know, as they were to live in distant future ages,—for instance, Judas, and the Romans, and leaders of the Jewish nation,—who would make these imprecations proofs of a revengeful spirit?—James Bennet (1774-1862), in "Lectures on the Acts of the Apostles", 1847.

I am thy servant. David the king professes himself one of God's pensioners. Paul, when he would blaze his coat of arms, and set forth his best heraldry, he doth not call himself Paul, an Hebrew of the Hebrews, or Paul of the tribe of Benjamin, but Paul "a servant of Christ": Romans 1:1. Theodosius thought it a greater dignity to be God's servant than to be an emperor. Christ Himself, who is equal with his Father, yet is not ashamed of the title servant: Isaiah 53:11. Every servant of God is a son, every subject a prince: it is more honour to serve God than to have kings to serve us: the angels in heaven are servants to the saints.—Thomas Watson.

Hints to the Village Preacher

To the Master: "I am thy servant."
For the servant: he seeks protection because he belongs to his master.

Works Upon The Hundred And Forty-Third Psalm

Meditations And Disqvisitions Upon The Three last Psalms of David Pss. 102., 130., 143.. By Sr. Richard Baker, Knight, London, ...1639. The above is scarce, but will be found in Mr. Higham's Reprint of Sir R. Baker on the Psalms.]

A Sacred Septenarie, Or, A Godly And Fruitfull Exposition on the Seven Psalms Of Repentance... by Mr. Archibald Symson... London, 1638 4to., contains an Exposition of this Psalm, pp. 276-308. There is an Exposition of Psalm 143., in Vol. 1., pp. 35-66, Of "Sermons chiefly designed for the Use of Families, by John Fawcett, A.M. 2 Vols. 8vo, second edition, Carlisle; 1818."

July 2011

2011-07-25T19:57:00.001-05:00

July 2011

May 2, 2011 -- Monday

2011-05-02T18:56:00.000-05:00

Today I ate @ 10am, 12 pm, 2:30 pm, and 4 pm.
I got a 12 inch egg white and provolone cheese on flatbread from subway, so I ate 1/4 each time.
I admit, this is not really good,
but it beats the hell out of eating the whole 12 inch sandwich in 10 minutes. :-)

7:45pm and I'm eating an egg salad sandwhich.

Let's see what tomorrow will bring.

It's always MY choice.

Back to Business......

2009-10-10T18:28:00.002-05:00

Here is a cool Halloween edit I did for Kirsten:

Photographic Art is now my passion.

I also started a website:

http://dazynay.com/

but it is still a work in progress!

Stroll on over to my flickr page at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dazynay

The Baby Frog

2009-03-28T13:02:00.000-05:00

Pompus Grass Burning, February 2009

2009-02-21T12:45:00.000-05:00

Here's my sign!

2008-12-10T21:21:00.000-05:00

Dorito Chicken

2008-12-08T19:19:00.001-05:00

Dorito Chicken:

2-3 cups diced cooked chicken
1 cup sour cream1 can cream of chicken soup
1/4 cup finely minced onion ~I sub 1 tsp onion powder~
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 - 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 - 1 cup shredded mozzerella cheese1 bag Doritos crushed

Grease or spray a 2 qt casserole dishcover bottom w/ 1/2 the crushed DoritosMix all other ingredients except cheese and spread over Doritos
Cook @ 350 for 20 minutes
Top with other 1/2 crushed Doritos,
then top Doritos w/ cheese
Bake 10-15 minutes longer

Salmon Patties

2008-11-30T19:52:00.003-05:00

1 can Salmon w/ liquid (cleaned)
2 beaten eggs
2 TBSP lemon juice
1 TBSP onion powder (may substitue 1/4 cup fine chopped onion)
2 TBSP flour
1/4 cup cracker crumbs or bread crumbs
1 TBSP worcestershire sauce
salt and pepper to taste

combine all ingredients well
Fry in preheated skillet w/ 1/4- 1/2 cup vegetable oil over medium to med high heat til brown
(about 4 minutes each side)

I use a 1/4 cup to scoop out the mix to make even size patties :-)

What we have been reading......

2008-10-16T09:49:00.003-05:00

No More Cookies ~Paeony Lewis

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom ~Bill Martin Jr.

How does your heart work ~Don L. Curry

Emma's Strange Pet ~Jean Little

Froggy Learns to Swim ~Jonathan London

Rain Romp ~Jane Kurtz

Jesse Bear, What will you wear? ~Nancy White Carlstrom

Froggy gets dressed ~Jonathan London

Chicka Chicka 123 ~Bill Martin Jr.

I like Turtles!

2008-10-16T08:10:00.004-05:00

I like turtles! I once stopped my car on a dirt road and told and old Turtle "ya better get on off the road now" and he looked straight at me then skittered across to the ditch. ~Turtles do move quicker than some might think!
If you like turtles check out this little guy in the youtube video near the bottom of the post:
http://writerquake.blogspot.com/2008/06/bronx-zoo-1989.html
I promise it will make you smile.

Here's a pic of me in my turtle shirt.

--
Renee
And the turtles, of course... All the turtles are free -- As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be. ~Dr. Seuss
http://awrinkleformybrain.blogspot.com/

A lesson in trust

2008-09-04T09:10:00.003-05:00

On Monday Kirsten told me she never liked "skeeter spray"
I said "why not? I've always put bug spray on you even when you were very little."
Kirsten replies "I know, I didn't like it then either"

Fast forward to Wednesday.
We are sitting outside after I got off work, enjoying the nice weather.
The skeeters are eating us up so Ken goes to get the bug spray out of the car.
He sprays his ankles then tells Kirsten to come and let him spray some on her. She looked at me and asked, "will it burn?"
I said "No Honey, it shouldn't burn you."
....well Ken sprayed her legs and in just a few seconds she was crying and jumping saying it burned her. :-(

We get to the bathtub and I'm running some water for her and she says in such a sad voice,
"I just wanted you to trust me, you should have trust me"

Me, wrapped up in myself and somewhat irritated, didn't get what she was saying at first.
I asked her "What are you talking about?"
She said "I just want you to trust me"

....and then it clicked.
I said, "You mean the other night when you told me you didn't like bug spray?"
She shook her head yes and I hugged her and told her I was sorry, all the irritation and self-centeredness melting away from me.

What a priceless lesson this child has taught her mother.

Renee
"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh
http://awrinkleformybrain.blogspot.com/

April 2008 ~Our month in pictures Part 4

2008-04-29T07:57:00.004-05:00

April 2008 ~Our month in pictures Part 3

2008-04-29T07:49:00.002-05:00

April 2008 ~Our month in pictures Part 2

2008-04-29T07:43:00.003-05:00

April 2008 ~Our Month in Pictures Part 1

2008-04-29T07:17:00.004-05:00

March 2008 ~catching up

2008-04-29T07:08:00.002-05:00

Thursday March 27th 2008

2008-03-27T12:46:00.004-05:00

Back to 1991

2008-02-06T21:27:00.000-05:00

A picture from 1991. I found this on top of the fridge the other day, while I was looking for something else. It's a picture of me and Sheena taken in a photo booth that was set up at the mall. Funny how time slips by. She will be 20 next week. I just love this picture of us.

Cody's 17 This month!!!!!

2008-01-15T00:28:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Cody!
We love you!!!!

December 19th, 2007 ~Wednesday

2008-01-03T23:36:00.000-05:00

Thanks Angie for my wonderful Christmas present!
A new haircut!

October 22nd, 2007 ~Monday~

2007-10-22T22:20:00.000-05:00

Today was a rainy Monday I had been looking forward too.
We bought a new poncho and umbrella yesterday and already had the rain boots. We were all set for "pud-muddle" day.
But alas, different plans were made for me.
Instead of spending a lazy day rolling on the bed and jumping mud puddles I worked all day.
I really don't like that anymore.
lol, who does????
I get home and everyone is hungry and ill.
Kirsten wanted me to sit and read books and I just wanted to escape!

Flickr

2007-09-17T18:13:00.001-05:00

www.flickr.com

More of dazynay's photos

The Art of Uplifting ~Scott Noelle

2007-08-30T20:34:00.000-05:00

From: http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove

The Art of Uplifting

by Scott Noelle, posted on 2007-08-22

Imagine you're watching a delightful movie on TV, and you get a phone call from your friend, who is watching a horror film on a different channel.

You don't mind that your friend likes scary movies, but you're clear that you want to stay focused on your happy story.

So you start talking about your movie, and after a while your friend realizes that s/he would rather be experiencing joy than fear, so s/he changes the channel to the same frequency you're tuned to.

Now you're both "on the same wavelength"... literally! That's the art of uplifting.

So when you're feeling good, and your child is upset, stay focused in your place of Well-Being... AND stay fully Present with your child.

Make peace with the fact that s/he's upset, and know that s/he'll be feeling good again soon. Before too long s/he'll choose to change channels from tragedy to comedy. :)

Sunday Morning at Cleveland Park

2007-06-24T14:52:00.000-05:00

Pure Joy and the Wooly Worm

2007-06-24T14:35:00.000-05:00

We found a wooly worm today.
Here are pictures of our adventure.

On Relationships

2007-06-18T23:04:00.000-05:00

From: http://bcourtneymcbath.com/

Click here for notes.
This was so timely!!!!

http://www.revivalword.org/2007Notes/Bishop%20Notes05062007.pdf

The first frost and DazyNay's Deep Thoughts for the Day

2007-05-14T16:01:00.000-05:00

The morning of the 1st hard frost last year, I woke up and went outside to take a look at the Zinnias that had given me so much pleasure through the summer months.

At first I just saw devasation. As I looked closer I saw something more.

The more I looked the more examples I saw. Side by side:

Why had some survived? Why had some remain untouched?

......always more questions than answers it seems.

Dear Lord,
I pray for clarity today.
Amen

Our new neighbor

2007-03-04T17:21:00.000-05:00

It's a pony!!!!!

Rainy Sunday

2007-01-21T18:38:00.001-05:00

What I've done for me today:

Cleared off my dresser and worked in the bedroom.
I managed to get a lot of the overhead junk boxes emptied and shined everything up!
~Thanks for the tip Dove!

Before/After

Took a nice hot bath this afternoon.
~Uninterrupted, I might add.

Spent a little time online.

Washing That Gray Out

2007-01-20T23:48:00.000-05:00

Ok Wendy.......
IT's YOUR TURN!!!!!!!
....and hell yeah, you gotta post BEFORE pictures too!!!

Today was "Wash that grey right outta my hair" day.

Here are some before and afters:

You can really see the gray in these shots from the top:

And finally.......

TA DA!!!!!

Gotta Love Hair Color and Make-up!!!!

November 30, 2006

2006-12-01T00:33:00.000-05:00

September Days:

Playing w/ Bubbles,
Finger Painting,
Eating Sprinkles,
Playing w/ Frogs,
Jumping on the Couch

.....what lovely memories!

November 28, 2006

2006-11-28T22:25:00.000-05:00

How do you turn a "No you can't touch the candle!", To "Yes! Let's see what we can do with it".

First an adult pours the wax in a plate and swirls it around for a few minutes just until it's not to hot to touch.

Now we can touch it.
Feel the warm gel like consistency?

Look Mama, it sticks to my fingers!

PUUUUSHHHH!!!!!!!
It's getting harder now

We managed to turn the NO to a yes and had a wonderful time!

November 26, 2006

2006-11-26T15:06:00.000-05:00

We started out about 4am this morning, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I was feeling much better today after sleeping a full 8 hours so we headed off to Wal-Mart at about 5:30am.

The store was empy so shopping w/ Kirsten was "almost" a breeze.
~As breezy as one can get while shopping w/ a 2 and a half year old~

She was happy because she got to walk. Which made mama happy because there was nothing to argue about. We went straight for the candy aisle and Kirsten picked out a bag of jelly beans.

She munched jelly beans, I shopped, the world was a happy place.
At the checkout line she picked up a tube of M&M mini's. ~hehehe, melt in your mouth, not in your hands.......yeah right!~

After a morning of shopping a short nap was in order.
~Doesn't she look just like her Daddy!

After 30 winks it was time to get some chores done.

~Look there's a spot!!!!

I get it for you Mama!!!!!

......and such is the way are our days for now. Soon I will be going back to work, Monday-Friday from about 8am-1pm. Which means a whole new world for Kirsten. I plan to give it a try w/ her in a day-care that is less than a mile from where I work. I keep telling myself that it's only part-time and we could really use the money. But somewhere, something keeps whispering back that she is too young to be away from her mama like that. We will see how it goes.
No guilt,
No regrets,
....looking forward and taking things one day at a time.

Is there anything more precious?

2006-05-14T12:26:00.000-05:00

These are the days that I want to remember.
Care-free spring afternoons, being in the moment with my child, feeling the joy and wonder in all things.

......as the sands in the hour-glass slip past us;
a moment is captured.

Beautiful Song

2006-02-01T10:29:00.000-05:00

Carrie Underwood
Jesus, Take the Wheel

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh

Buttery Nipples Anyone??????

2006-01-03T12:50:00.000-05:00

1 shot Buttershots
1 shot Baily's Irish Cream
1 shot Vodka

Fill glass w/ ice, add liquor, top w/ milk.

The Horse

2005-12-29T15:27:00.000-05:00

Kirsten found a horse today.
It was a little stick that really looked like a horse!

What a wonder to see the beginnings of imagination at work.

Fine Art

2005-12-21T21:16:00.000-05:00

Kirsten Hope McGraw
18 Months

In the Background

2005-12-20T23:40:00.000-05:00

Dear Momma

2005-12-20T23:31:00.000-05:00

I found this note on my computer when I got up Mother's Day morning 2005.
In the TO: field she had typed:
The Best Mommy in the World!!!!

I wanted to share this to encourage those mama's who are on the path to, or are in the midst of the storm of adolescence. I promise you will ALL survive it. I am constantly reminding myself that when I was her age, she was a baby on my hip and I had all the independence I could possibly swallow. She is right smack in the middle of "mama will you.........for me?" and "LEAVE ME ALONE TO FIGURE IT OUT, I'M NOT YOU!!!" This child of mine is wise beyond her years because we really have grown up together. Yet in the day to day grind she appears to be so immature to me most of the time. She's still a baby to me!

Anyway, here's my letter:

Dear Momma

We have been through alot as a family, and we all love you so much and really do appreciate you(believe it or not!). You do so much for all of us and we dont show you how much it means to us like we should, but i guess we all get so caught up in our own wants and needs that we dont see yours sometimes.

We may not be rich and have everything we want all the time but we have so much to be thankful for. We have made it through hard times before and i think we always will. I'm probably the worst out of all of us at showing you how much I thank you for everything and im sorry, because no matter what i do or how i act you are the only person that will ALWAYS love me for who i am. And it shouldnt have to take some holiday for us to reconize how much you do and give thanks to you, we should do that all the time and I'm SO sorry we dont. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !

P.S.- the candles are for you i didnt have any idea what to get. I wanted to get you somethin nice but i dont have the money

!SHEENANAY!

Love Somebody Like You

2005-12-11T18:25:00.000-05:00

Somebody Like You Lyrics
by Keith Urban

There's a new wind blowin' like I've never known.
I'm breathin' deeper than I've ever done.
And it sure feels good, to finally feel the way I do.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.
An' I'm lettin' go of all my lonely yesterdays.
I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I've made.
Now there's just one thing, the only thing I wanna do, mmm, mmm.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.
Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine,
Shinin' down on me and you.
When you put your arms around me,
You let me know there's nothing in this world I can't do.
I used to run in circles goin' no-where fast.
I'd take, uh, one step forward and two steps back.
Couldn't walk a straight line even if I wanted to, mmm, mmm.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.
Whoa here we go now!
Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine,
Shinin' down on me and you.
When you put your arms around me,
Well, baby there ain't nothing in this world I can't do.
Sometimes it's hard for me to understand,
But you're teachin' me to be a better man.
I don't want to take this life for granted like I used to do, no, no.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.
I'm ready to love somebody,
Love somebody like you. Oooh.
An' I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you, yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh, I wanna be the man in the middle of the night,
Shinin' like it's true.
I wanna be the man that you run to whenever I call on you
When everything that loved someone finally found it's way
Wanna be a better man
I see it in you yeah...

What the Hell are you thinking Man????

2005-12-07T09:31:00.000-05:00

On Sunday evening he says to me...."honey I think the fridge is going out...."

Then Monday gets off work early, comes home, empties my ice bin, then leaves for ~insert drinking buddy's name here~ house.
(come on now, God forbid his beer get warm)
Leaving me to come home to a warm refridgerator.

Well at least dh and ~insert drining buddy's name here~ got to enjoy a few cold brewskies and relax while I pulled out the fridge, took the back off of it and vacuumed every crevice I could find. All the while trying to watch 2 kids under 16 months old.

Tuesday rolls around and he calls and says to me "Whatcha wanna do about the fridge?" F*** You ass hole. You deal w/ the fridge. I'm going on strike.

On Thursday he finally gets around to calling a repairman to come out and look at it.
Strike ends Thursday night. All is well again.
Point made.

-insert drinking buddy's name here-

2005-12-05T17:15:00.000-05:00

It's 7:50 am Friday morning.
I'm getting ready to walk out the door for work.
Hubby is starting breakfast for the baby.
The phone rings. Ken answers, "Hello?"
pause
"I hear ya man!"
"Renee's going to work now, but I'll holler atcha later!"

Of course I have listened to all of this wondering WHO wanted WHAT at 8am.
Ken says, "it was -insert drinking buddy's name here-. He has a half-gallon of Vodka. He's already had 2 drinks and wants me to come over."

Now what wife wouldn't love -insert drinking buddy's name here-?

A Letter to Kirsten

2005-11-21T23:59:00.000-05:00

My little darling is almost 1.5 years now. Wow, where has the time gone?
How clique does that sound?
Maybe so, but I'll indulge myself.

Dear Kirsten,
I can see the joy in you. It's contagious. You squeal with delight over falling leaves and the wind in your face. You like the wind so much you always ask me to turn the fan on almost every time you see it. It rained today so we didn't get to go outside.

You can jump very good now. Your newest tricks are flips (which sissy taught you to do a few weeks ago) and hopping. Not just a hop or two, but actually hopping like a rabbit across the room. I'm smiling right now just thinking about it.

Almost every day when Cody comes home from school you grab the pillows on my bed and run to him saying pillow pillow pillow. Cody gathers all the pillows he can find and piles them up in the living room floor to play with you.

On the days me and daddy have to work you stay w/ Sissy and sometimes Kyle. I think you have fun with them when I'm gone. They play fun upside down and swing you around games to make you giggle. Sometimes you cry when Sissy leaves. She loves you too.

You love to listen to your music. You know which songs you like the best and ask for them in sign when you can't say the words.
Your emotions are emerging more and more every day. You have no hidden agenda. You share what you feel right when you feel it. You amaze me every single day.
The only thing I can say is that you bring so much to our lives. It's like you're in a little bubble of pure joy so that everything and everyone you come in contact with gets a little dose of it.

Someday I hope you read this and know that you can do anything you set your heart and mind to. And when you are all grown up and the cares of the world seem to get you down, go turn on a fan and close your eyes. Imagine the wind blowing and the leaves falling all around you. Know that you will always be loved.

The Art of Conversation

2005-09-25T22:41:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine sent this to me today:

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Now how true is that?
How many times do I open my mouth before my brain computes the consequences?
How many people out there think I’m just a sarcastic bitch when I’m really a very caring, loving sarcastic bitch?

What Kids Remember About Growing Up: Part 2

2005-09-21T23:29:00.000-05:00

Part 2 of this trip down the not-so-pretty side of memory lane is about a balloon. Just a plain ole' helium filled ballon we got from Block-Buster one Saturday afternoon. I remember this one vividly.

The Balloon Lesson
I guess Sheena was about 4 or so at the time. I don't exactly remember. We had went to Block Buster to rent a few movies and run some errands one Saturday morning. They had helium balloons strung up here and there and of course Sheena wanted one as we checked out. She got her balloon and off we went. It was a spring day so the windows were rolled down in the car. Sheena thought it was neat to let her balloon flap in the wind as we went down the road, totally disregarding my warning, "It's gonna fly out the window if you don't pull it in!" Well guess what happend next? The beloved ballon slipped right out of her fingers and was *gasp* gone! Me, being the caring mama that I was said "I told you that was going to happen." To which I was met w/ a barrage of tears and screaming, "MY BALLOON, MY BALLOON, MY BALLON.....sob, sob, scream scream....." and on and on and on for what felt like forever. I was so mad at her for pitching such a fit about that ballon. I remember literally screaming back at her, "It's just a damn ballon, shut-up, get over it or I'll never get you another one!!!!!!!!!!"
OMG I say to myself now about that. How the hell could I have been so inconsiderate of her feelings? Little kids just LOVE helium ballons. I knew that then. I had loved them too. What a WONDER they were. But in that moment, I had a screaming child who was grating on my nerves and all I could feel was anger at her for making my morning miserable over a stupid balloon.
It has taken me 14 years to realize that her feelings mattered then.
I had picked up some library books, one being:
"The Emotional life of the Toddler" by: Alicia F. Lieberman
And I also found a wonderful website:
http://www.magicalchildhood.com
that helped me to understand just how important that balloon had been to Sheena in that moment.
I apoligized to her out of the blue one day when we had a few moments together. We were watching the baby play w/ and examine every little thing with such wonder and amazement. I told her how sorry I was for not considering her sense of loss for that little balloon and giving her the comfort that would have helped us all overcome it much quicker. Even though she's almost 18 now I want her to know that the ballons in her life matter to me. And I'm here for her with love and comfort, not critisism or scolding when she loses one.

What Kids Remember About Growing Up: Part 1

2005-09-21T22:40:00.000-05:00

My oldest daughter is almost 18 now. It's kinda neat when we go out and people will ask us if we are sisters. It's funny because I had her when I was 17. I had her sister when she was 17. Yeah, something only a mama with a span like that finds interesting. But I digress early in this post......

Do any of you remember little moments from when you were a child? Being unjustly punished or pushed aside? I know I do. I didn't realize I had repeated the EXACT same behavior w/ my children until it jumped right out at me the other day.
Here's the story:

Chicken Soup

What really hits home is when Sheena and I are together and something jogs her memory of a time/place when she was little.

We were at Wal-Mart the other day and happened to be going down the aisle w/ the soups. She asked me....."do you remember when you got so mad at me because I wouldn't eat the chicken noodle soup that Tina fixed for us one day?" Of course I didn't remember, and I told her "no, tell me about it."
She proceeded to tell me a story of being at one of my friends houses who had a child about her age. My friend had fixed the kids soup for lunch and obviously Sheena didn't like it. She remembered trying to eat it and gagging, then me getting really mad at her. She said I took her to Tina's bedroom and told her she could stay in there by herself if she couldn't eat what had been fixed for her.

She remembers lots of things like that. I asked her one day if I was always a "mean mommy"? She smiled and said no, but...... I wonder........

I have a walking, talking, life size reminder of how inconsiderate and self-centered a mother I was. I really didn't realize how hateful I must have sounded to a little child. MY little child at that!!!!

It's painful truth to realize that I can't go back and undo that day w/ the chicken soup. Or any of the other days that I may have been way to harsh about something so insignificant as a freaking bowl of chicken soup.

I really wish I could remember that day. I wish I could take it back and make it all better. How silly is it for me to cry about that now? Some odd 12-15 years after the fact?

It's almost as hard to swallow as that damned chicken soup must have been.

A Taste of Times Past

2005-09-16T21:37:00.000-05:00

HorseShoe Tournament Sept 2005

We had a nice time at the HorseShoe Tournament this fall. We have them twice a year after Memorial Day and Labor Day. This is the first time in 2 years I've had this much fun. Being the only female past Champion has it's nice moments. There were SO many people there this year. Maybe 50 in all and out of 27 players I came in 3rd place this time. It's fun to have everyone rooting for me when we are so close to the end. But a very deserving player won it this year. He's a first time champ, playing with us in the tournaments for about the past 6 years. What a nice little taste of my old confident, social self. Sometimes I miss her.

CHAOS Reigns

2005-09-16T21:05:00.000-05:00

I think I'm hopeless!

I did take a pen and paper w/ me to the park the other day w/ Kirsten so I could write down a priority list for this week.

Nothing got wrote down.

Nothing got done.

.....now what road is it that's paved w/ good intention?

I've been in a little slump and it's SO easy to let things slide when I feel like that. I'm lacking in the self-discipline arena.

Then when I let things slide it drains my energy even more to walk by Mt. WashMore piled up in a chair and Mt. DishMore piled up in the sink.

Step 1:

Make grocery list and stick close to it for tomorrow

Step 2:

Enlist Cody's help w/ folding and putting away laundry

Step 3:

Take unclaimed Freecycle items to Good Will

Step 4:

Plan menu for next week

Step 5:

Plan activities/outings for next week

Step 6:

Allot time for housework and set SPECIFIC goals

Step 7:

Remember to breathe, smile when I'm angry, and love myself!

Kill The Marytr

2005-09-14T13:50:00.000-05:00

I have Marytrdom ingrained in my very being.
I resent that my dh doesn't help at all.
I resent that my teenage kids don't help at all.
Can't they see I need some assistance in this house?

Poor me.

Anyone care to join the pity-party today?

Why the hell can't these people just read my mind?
Isn't that a sick way of being?
What I want to figure out, is why this behavior has become a part of me.
I want to kill the Martyr.
She has no place in the happy productive life that I deserve.

The First Step is Always the Hardest

2005-09-08T21:34:00.000-05:00

It's a wonderful feeling to begin a journey.
At the beginning of each new phase of our lives I feel it's important to remember the past. Not so that we can bombard ourselves with the "could have" and "should have" tirades, but so we can objectively reflect on how our actions and/or decisions have effected our entire being.

Yes, the first step is the hardest.
Commiting myself to objective reflection and finding the courage to share my deepest regrets and most haunting fears. Laying it all on the table, good and bad, to honor who I am now and to understand who I wish to become.

My Girls

2005-09-04T08:42:00.000-05:00

It amazes me daily to see these girls of mine together. I think it's the best lesson in birth-control I can give my oldest! I have a pretty good relationship with my oldest but there are so many things I want to do differently this time around. Sheena and I have grown up together, given the fact that I was only 17 when I had her. What joy and heartache it is to see her all "grown-up"! (ALMOST)

Sheena and Kirsten's Noodle Roni Breakfast

2005-09-04T08:20:00.000-05:00

Our favorite breakfast.......Noodles in bed. We LIKE noodles......chicken noodles, garlic noodles, egg noodles, sea shell noodles, oodles of noodles. If it's a pasta we'll eat it!

I'm really getting a 2nd chance..........

2005-08-08T08:20:00.000-05:00

This little child of mine is amazing.

Kisses Goodmorning;
Interesting things......
Running,
Singing......
Today
Everything is
New

Your mama loves you